By Chris Irwin
When it comes to the relationship between people and horses the old saying of “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey that counts” couldn’t be more true. Horsemanship is a sport, a science, and an art, all rolled into one very challenging experience.
While I often write practical “how to” training tips for these magazine columns that focus on the techniques or “science” of the biomechanics of how to train horses I also feel the need every now and then to address the issue of the art of horsemanship. Often, it is the quality of the art of horsemanship that seperates those who are merely “in the ribbons” from the champion who is sipping champagne as the red ribbon, belt buckle, trophy or gold medal is awarded to them in recognition for being “the best of the best”. If you and your horse are in the ribbons but not consistently winning then you probably have a fairly good understanding of the science of equestrian sport but most likely have room for improvement in the art of empathy for horses. Similarly, if your horse is “broke” enough to ride down the trail but he or she demonstrates occassional “issues” then, again, perhaps it’s not necessarily that what you’re doing with your horses is technically wrong but that your horse is telling you in the only way it knows how that it would prefer that you do what you do even better.
Getting back to the show ring, all politics aside, if you placed third at a show then a white ribbon lets you know that you did what you were supposed to do with your horse “correctly”, and that is fine, but the blue ribon in second place and the red ribbon in first place did it better. Like a baking contest where everybody bakes the same cake, some just taste better then others. I mention this because deep down inside we all want to have our cake and eat it too. Anyone with a heart would want their horses to demonstrate that not only do they do what we want them to do but they do it willingly, they do it well, and they do it with style and grace. Do we want a horse who is a mere beast of burden or do we want a beautiful dance partner?
The science of horsemanship involves knowing the technical aspects of how to fly the equine plane or sail the equine ship. The technical aspect of horsemanship is knowing where all the different buttons are and how to use our body aids to “push” those buttons correctly to communicate what we want from our horses. Like a computer, we need to know the diffrerence between the “save” button on a horse or the “delete”. However, it is the art of horsemaship that involves empathy and psychology with a determined focus to always find the perfect balance between respect and trust so that a horse sees his or her rider as a force to be reckoned with but nothing to be afraid of. When a rider knows how to not only push the buttons correctly on a horse but also knows how to read and feel the energy and emotions of a horse well enough to do so with just the perfect amount of pressure in just the right place at just the right time, so as to be neither too hard or too soft on a horse, then a horse begins to dance instead of merely obey.
When we ask our horses to do something with too much pressure, speaking too loudly with our body language when a whisper would have sufficed, then our horses don’t trust us enough and their bodies become tense. Conversely, if we are too soft with our horses when they require us to be assertive then they can not respect us and they lose focus and responsiveness. The real magic begins when a horse knows that you not only know how where the buttons are but that you also know where the horse is at emotionally and that you adjust yourself to their psychological needs. Having said that, perhaps the most dramatic example of this concept is when it comes to the difference between “making a horse go” or “letting a horse go”.
Whether we are working with our horses on the ground or in the saddle if we “let a horse go” when we needed to “make a horse go” then the horse will not respect us. On the other hand, if we “make a horse go” when we needed to “allow a horse to go” then it will not trust us. Knowing the difference between “letting go” or “making go” is just one of many examples of empathy and psychology in the art of horsemanship.
Imagine you are with your horse either on the ground or in the saddle and you’re wanting to just stand still and quiet but your horse moves. Suddenly pulling or jerking on the head of the horse to “whoa” may or may not get your horse to stand still but it does nothing to develop a willing partnership. Jerking a horse to whoa is bullying and forcing yourself on an innocent. A horse is a prey animal and they are willing to stand still and quiet when they have no stress. If your horse needs to move when you don’t want it to then rather then forcing the horse to stand still perhaps we could ask the question “why doesn’t my horse feel comfortable enough with me in this environment to be willing to stand still?” Sure, you could blame the distractions in the environment, or find all kinds of reasons why the horse doesn’t want to stand still, but these are actually symptoms of a gap in the relationship with your horse not causes that justify an inability to stand still. If your horse both respected and trusted you then it would feel that being with you and NOT leaving you was in its best interest.
If you’re wanting to stand still and not go anyhwere and you have a horse that both respects and trusts you then it is more important to your horse to stay with you then it is to react to the environment and leave you. Like Richard Bach said, “if you love something set it free and if it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn’t then it never was yours.” The answer is not to set someone or something you love free and then jerk them and force them to come back and demand that they stay with you if they don’t want to be with you.
So the art involved here is not to use bullying tactics to force a horse to be with you. You can’t really force anyone to want to be with you. Your horse, your family, your friends should want to be with you because they respect, trust, admire and, yes, love you, not because you threaten them if they leave. The horses will give themselves over to us willingly if we care enough to read “why” they need to leave us and to respond appropriately. If the body language of a horse indicates that it is frightened and or leaves respectfully then we should simply allow the horse to move otherwise it will not trust us. Soon the horse will trust us and be relaxed enough to be willing to stand with us. On the other hand, if the body language of a horse demonstrates aggressive or rude body language when it needs to move then we should definitely “push” the horse to go or it will never respect us.
For example, if while you’re standing with a horse it walks forward through your space on the ground with a high head pulling on the bit while you are in the saddle then you have been “walked through” and pushed. If you “push back” by telling the horse to do a turn on the forehand then you have met “push with push” and by pushing the hindquarters of the horse away from you during the turn on the forehand your push not only disengages the movement of the horse but it also brings the horse right back to you. You essentially said with your response “since you pushed through me I’ll push you right back to me”. You might be surprised just how quickly doing two or three turns on the forehand with a pushy horse will get it to make it his or her idea to stand still willingly. On the other hand, a horse backing up away from you is offering “passive resistance” and yes, it is moving and it is leaving you but it is not being rude to you when it is leaving. Backing away from you is more often then not the way a horse says “ nothing personal, but I’ve got to go.” If you try to stop or push this horse it will only become stressed and worried and it will not be able to trust you. However, if when the horse backs up you actually back away from it yourself while on the ground, or simply turn the horse without any aggressive push forward, if you meet passive with passive, more often then not the horse will then engage back to forward movement and come right back to you. A horse will trust you if you let it go when it needs to go and before long it is willing to stand still.
If we back away from the pushy horse we are too passive and it will not respect us. The greatest contradiction we see with people with horses is the passive-aggressive response of people who do not stand their ground and back away from pushy horses while at the same time they aggressively use their hands on a rope or reins to the head to jerk a horse to stop. The horse sees this mixed message for what it truly is – a pushee who is a sore loser – and this never works and it only serves to further stress horses. If your horse is always pushing you around and never wants to stand still when it is your desire to stay in one place it is almost a given that this is happening.
We have an expression in our culture called “bowing out” and it comes from the horses. Naturally, within the herd, when a horse wants to move but it can’t go forward because if it did it would be intruding upon the space of a dominant horse, then that horse will lower its head and back up, bowing out to say “with all due respect I’m in over my head here” and you never see a dominant horse get aggressive with a horse who is bowing out. When a horse bows out, “let it go” and it will trust you, start to relax, and soon not feel the need to bow out and will be ready to stand still. We also have other expressions such as “uppity” or “cold shoulder”. When a horse moves towards you flipping or twirling its head at you or has its head turned away from you but is bumping into you with its shoulder then it is time to “make it go” or it will not respect you. How assertively we “make a horse go” should be determined by the “tell tale signs”. A horse pushing you with a curled calm tail needs a mild push back as it is merely testing your self esteem and boundaries. A horse with a swishing tail is more intrusive and will need a slightly firmer push away while a horse who is “high tailing it” with his or her tail held high like a flag in the wind is feeling very playfully competetive and needs yet a firmer and more determined push away from you and a horse with a wringing tail is aggressively challenging “who pushes whom” and needs a serious “get away from me with that attitude”. Adjust your push accordingly and you’ll balance a newfound respect with trust. But never push away a low headed horse with a closed or tight tail. This horse is sullen and overwhelmed and if it needs to move it needs you to “release it” and allow it to move or it will never be able to trust you.
When horses find that we care about them enough to stay in the moment and not only know where to push the buttons but also how often and how much or when not to push the buttons then they see us as shepherds looking out for their best interest and they want to be with us. Yes, we all love our horses, but it is the fine art of empathy and awareness for the true needs of a prey animal that helps them decide to love us in return. Remember, ask not what your horse can do for you – ask what you can do for your horse.